Can You Step Into My Office?

The Rhino and I are proud to present the following fantastic news:

After hundreds of resumes, 15ish (or I lost count how many) phone interviews, and three slamazing final candidates, we are excited to share that we have officially hired our Food Truck Manager! Please welcome Mr. Bridger, our new Food Truck Manager, to the Bloomy’s food family! Stay tuned for Bridger's exciting photo op introduction. I could have pulled a photo off of Facebook but stopped myself because 1) that might be weird and slightly stalkerish and 2) I'm not quite sure of the Facebook laws regarding photo borrowing*.

* By borrowing, I mean taking and claiming as my own.

Anyway, not only is Bridger 150% awesomesauce, but he has loads of experience in the food industry and is a whiz with social media. He also has a really shiny grill (like a grill where you grill meat and kabobs, not a Lil’John-style mouth grill.). In addition, he has created numerous mouth watering culinary masterpieces that I will be showcasing in our very next blog!

Bridger is so bomb that he already met the Rhino at Chameleon Concessions last week to do the final walk through of Bloomy1 and made lots of helpful suggestions including the most helpful suggestion of all: how to fit a third seat in the truck! This means that we can drive around town with three people in the truck instead of two! Way to go Bridger! Mission accomplished and you haven’t even technically started working yet. A+++. Would hire again! This exciting news also means that we get to install a jump seat in the truck!  A jump seat! I've always* wanted one of those and now I can have one! Thank you Bloomy's for making all of my dreams come true. 
* Ever since last week when I learned about it.

In other news, the Rhino has informed me that we need to begin referring to our home office as “HQ” from this moment forward. So whenever I say “HQ,” you will know that I’m talking about our office where the Rhino has a big nice roomy workspace that takes up half the room and I have this:

Yes, this is where I work.

Now, you could be thinking – is that a super tiny desk located in the closet? Complete with a glass of wine and a book as a mousepad? In the closet? Why yes. Yes it is. It’s called compromise people, and an ability to fit well into small spaces. Although the Rhino does let me put dibs on his roomy workspace approximately 4x per week. Or 0x if I’m “being a fuddy-duddy*.”

* The Rhino’s description of me when I’m being mean and narrowing my eyes at things. For those of you who are thinking “I thought the phrase fuddy-duddy retired back in 1957?”, you are correct. 

The nice thing about owning a company such as Bloomy’s is that you can pretty much call things whatever you please, because you're the boss of everything! You can even pick your own job title. For example, my job title is Chief Executive Officer because I’m the one who does all the filing of important documents and the Rhino is the Chief Operating Officer because he’s the one who does all the reports and check writing. However, the Rhino has decided to change his job title from COO to the more intriguing and FBI/Undercover Agent title of “Chief of Operational Intelligence.” So now when people ask me what my fiancé does for a living, I can say, “Well he is a Chief of Operational Intelligence (obvi, I leave out the part where he works at this job for free).” Then the person who asked says “Wow, that sounds like a really cool job.” And I say, “It IS a really cool job! I mean, he doesn’t carry a 14K gold badge or have access to top secret classified information. But it’s still pretty sweet.”*

* This conversation only happens in my imagination.

(Warning, major sidetrack about to happen here).

My spell checker function just informed me of the appropriate spelling for the word “fiancé.” Apparently, I’ve been e-introducing people to the Rhino as “My Finance.” Oops. Although you could argue that "My Finance" is still accurate. Ooooh. Just kidding! Calm down people. I pay my own bills, on time.

Anyway, before we move on to business updates, which is what this blog is supposed to be about but isn’t most of the time, I want to give one exciting personal update. I CAN EAT FOOD AGAIN! After my 25 day Clean Program, during which I did not cheat ONE time but during which I complained approximately 100% of the time, the Rhino and I celebrated my return to regular food with this:

Chillin'

Yes, my friends. This is a picture of the TWO chicken-topped beer cans who were hanging out in our oven for awhile. One lemon garlic and one smoky BBQ. Mmm, delicious.

Our friend Elliot over at Sysco had impeccable timing as usual (except for the bacon incident) and also dropped off this:

Potatoes and veggies and more veggies!

And this:

The apple is there for perspective, obvi.

Now that’s a lot of Ghirardelli brownie mix! Am I in heaven? Yes. Will I curse the belly ache I'll have after eating this box of brownies? Definitely.*

* Not a deterrent, at all.  Bring it on.

Even though I've since convinced two other people to try the Clean Program, I cannot tell you how ready I was to rejoin the rest of food-eating society. The worst thing was sitting down to lunch with the Rhino, drooling over his beef brisket, frowning over my nasty butternut squash soup, and having super duper lame table conversations such as this.

The Rhino: “How’s your soup?”

KJ: “Eh.”

Rhino: “You know, you can put some sea salt in there.”

KJ: “Why? So it can bring out the assy flavors even more?”

Now, we don’t even have conversations at the table anymore because I’m too busy stuffing my face with things like this!

Soon to be stir fry. Soon to be gobbled up by yours truly.

Ok, now it’s time for the business updates. And here they are, in no particular order of importance.

1) The party planning is well underway for our sponsor/launch celebration, which is officially scheduled for April 21!  That is less than two months away! Yikes*. JamieD, Chickie, and I have come up with an great list of sponsor party ideas that I can't share seeing as they are surprises. But the surprises are aplenty, and they are going to be slamazing.

* I mean Yikes in a good way. I'm not freaking out or anything. Maybe a little bit. Ok, whatever. I'm seriously freaking out!!

2) The Rhino is busy toiling away on creating our master SOP document that we have to submit to the city inspectors to get our official "ready for business" stamps of approval. In times like these, I'm glad the Rhino is the COI, which could easily stand for "Chief of mucho boring things like SOPs."

3) While the Rhino is working away on the above, I have been beating my brains out trying to learn the fine art of web development. Little did I realize that this would also require learning a completely new and foreign language better known as HTML and CSS. This adult language learning requirement has caused a few* whack attacks and many "fuddy duddy" moments that have resulted in the Rhino kicking me out of HQ. Good thing dumbed-down video tutorials and I have become BFFs. Go social sharing!

* Like... eleven. At least.

4) After a bit of equipment rearranging to better fit our wicked jump seat, Mark at Chameleon is putting the finishing touches on Bloomy1. I can't wait to take her up to Papa Bloomy's and get my mechanical skills* groove on!

* I have no mechanical skills. Wait - is sanding and painting even considered a mechanical skill? Let's pretend it is, and that I'm really good at it.

5) I'm trying not to think about the line cooks and cashiers we still have to hire and the companies we have to call and the stops we have to set up. <Heavy sigh.> This is why 4:30am and I have become such good friends lately.  

But, we're nearly to the finish line everyone. The hard part is ... well, just beginning actually. Dang it! I have to go care for my poor Rhino now, who is down for the count with a head cold the size of Massachusetts. Catch y'all on the flip side!

The Countdown Begins

After a small bout of writer’s block (my first since beginning the blog, oh no!), I’ve nearly recovered and am ready to share all of the new and wonderful things that have happened since I last left you.

First of all though, I have to say that I’m pretty sure my writer’s block was caused by one event in particular. I will call this event The Attack of the Seven Point Five Pound Bacon. This attack happened on day 8 of my 21 day Clean Program (NOT including the four day prep thing I had to go through beforehand, also during which I could not eat any good foods). Anyway, I was sitting on the couch watching the telly when, all of the sudden, I was struck by a bacon craving. A bad one. Like the kind you get after not eating any bacon for over 12 days.

Then the Rhino walked in with (I AM NOT KIDDING) a 7.5 pound CRATE of bacon!



There are seven layers to this crate!

 Between apologies and dodging my scary growls, Rhino managed to tell me that Sysco had dropped off some bacon for taste testing purposes. Apparently, some equals 7.5 pounds worth! So now I have all this bacon in my home and it’s all I can think about. Enter the writer’s block. Anyway, sweet Rhino made individual sized packs to hide in the freezer so I can focus on way more important things, like telling this story. Did I want to lick his fingers afterwards? Maybe. I mean definitely.

Moving on.

We’ve officially started the T MINUS COUNTDOWN TO THE BLOOMY’S LAUNCH! I don’t really enjoy the countdown, usually because it gives me heart palps*, but I figured it was about time we started one. Mainly due to the fact that I really wanted to install a countdown gadget on my iGoogle page. This is also where I track my two stocks (I made almost $11 today!) and whether new movies got a tomato or a splat.  

*Palpitations of the heart. This may or may not be a genetic abnormality; also commonly experienced as a precursor to a very large whack attack.

Anyway, we’re less than 10 weeks from our big sponsor celebration event and the Bloomy’s event planning team (comprised of Creative Director JamieDelish, Event Manager Chickie*, and yours truly) is ready to start super-planning what will soon be remembered as “The Greatest 2012 Twin Cities Food Truck Sponsor Celebration Event/Launch Party. Ever.” We have some exciting plans in the works and can’t wait to see all of our Kickstarter backers there to help us kick off Bloomy1! Bring your appetites people!

*Our newest Bloomy’s (unpaid) team member. Her name is not Chickie, but her real name is too hard to remember.

The Rhino and I are also very excited to share two major pieces of information with ya’ll. One is business related and one is a big announcement about our relationship. Oooh, what could that be? Hold your horses because we’re starting with the business one.

Number One

Our prized possession, Bloomy1, has officially gone from looking like this:

TO LOOKING LIKE THIS!

 

Wait… You might be thinking: “Dude, it looks exactly the same. You just changed the background and the way it was facing.” First off, don’t call me Dude. Second, take a closer look at this:

That’s right. That my friends is our very own super bomb serving window through which we can serve all of our delicious roast beef sandos and greet our fellow beef lovers with a welcoming Bloomy’s smile! Yessss!

Mark Awesome Palm at Chameleon Concessions has been doing loads of work on the inside of Bloomy1, getting her ready for her big debut. Mark has already achieved numerous feats including this:

And this!

And this!

In fact, Bloomy1 is officially nearly ready for her paint job which will be completed by our very own Rhino and his dad, Papa Bloomy. I will miss you Doritos logo!

Number Two
Now, on to the second announcement.

After five months of being engaged, the Rhino and I have finally decided on an official day of matrimony! Go team! That didn’t take long at all! We had originally decided on October 13 of next year since this year we’re way too busy making Bloomy1 the food truck rockstar of the Midwest. But then we realized that pretty much no one would want to party down with us on a Sunday. So now we’ve decided that on September 27, 2013 we will have a few family and friends over to Rhino’s Mom’s house, eat some food, dance a few jigs, change my last name to Bloomstrom, take some pictures, and go to Hawaii to celebrate my name change. No big deal. I also may or may not have* started a matrimony day countdown on my iGoogle page. 589 days? Done.
*This means absolutely.

Why September 27? Because according to our numerology charts,* this is the most auspicious day for the Rhino and me to enter into a lifelong union. It’s also the Rhino’s nephew’s birthday, and something tells me he’ll enjoy a night of cake, dancing and complete awesomeness. Bring it on. I will start planning this event in approximately 500 days.
*This blog is a judgment free area. And numerology is sometimes over 60% accurate.

In Other Exciting Future News
Tomorrow afternoon, the Rhino and I will be making a very important trip to our local bank so we can officially close on our bank loan! After 8 months of work and hundreds of hours of lost sleep, the fact that this day has finally arrived just doesn’t seem real to either of us (and probably won’t until it’s over). But we are both very much looking forward to actually having some dollars so we can buy important business items such as dishes and food. And this! Cool Software Found Here

Saturday brings the Big Day of Food Truck Manager Interviews. This is the time during which the Rhino and I will meet our Food Truck Manager (FTM) finalists face to face and decide which FTM is awesomesauce enough to manage Bloomy1! This is one of the most important tasks on my Bloomy to-do list, as our first FTM will not only manage Bloomy1 but may very well end up managing the whole kit and caboodle* in the very near future. What a sweet job! If the Rhino would let me, I would totally apply. Except that I don’t meet the qualifications. Whatever.
*I don’t actually know what this phrase means, but I heard my grandma say it once and it made my grandpa lol.

We’re also excited to share that our website (which was built by me, so only I can be offended when I say that I think it has no game) is currently undergoing a mega face lift! Our developer dude seems to have disappeared underground for the winter so I don't have an ETA, but hopefully he will resurface shortly. Then we can unveil the new and improved website that has lots of game and also houses this very blog! Dope!

Ok, I’m off to watch a John Cusack film (enter Rhino comment here: “I don’t know why you love him so much.” Me: “YOU CAN’T HELP WHO YOU LOVE!”) while trying not to think about bacon.

In the words of our friend and loyal blog follower, Eric: "May the beef be with you."

Putting the “Oooo!” in Bloomy’s.

Last week, the Rhino and I discovered that the long-standing Gopher Towing, a.k.a. the home of Bloomy1, was going out of business. This was devastating on several fronts - mainly because it made our truck homeless and secondarily because we have to provide the bank with a storage lease in order to get our loan money. No Gopher Towing = no home = no lease = no loan. Yikes! You can imagine how big a wrench this threw in our plans. However, never fear! The Rhino stepped in and found another home for Bloomy1 in less than a week*. He even brought me there for a visit on Sunday! Now, we have a new home for Bloomy1 that is equal in awesomeness and slightly less expensive than its previous home. Rock. On. I praised the Rhino on his industriousness and gave him a kiss (on the cheek; we are not married yet).
*Why I adore the Rhino Reason #671,794.

Two Fridays ago, the Rhino accompanied yours truly to my day-job department’s holiday party. Yes, we have our holiday party in January. The party, coincidentally, was also held at Chino Latino (just like the Rhino’s holiday party was!). We got to stuff our faces with delicious food such as shrimp curry and also do awesome (at the time) things like this:

  
I wish I could say that this holiday party turned out differently than the last one, but it surely did not. The Rhino and I once again plopped into bed well after 3am and spent the next day rubbing our bellies and cursing our love-hate relationship with Bacardi Limon.

In any case, we recovered and were incredibly excited about our big important meeting at the…

Sysco Test Kitchen
Last Thursday, the Rhino and I took some time to visit the best place in the world (or at least the best place in Blaine), the Sysco Test Kitchen. Stocked far and wide with delicious ingredients just waiting for us to eat and judge them. Which we did. A lot. Accompanying us to this dreamland was the official taste testing crew, comprised of (in no particular order).

1. Our culinary specialist, Budda,* who brought over a decade’s worth of experience in catering, kitchen management, and creating culinary masterpieces. And a passion for agates.
2. Rhino’s BFF since 8th grade (think Stand By Me meets … Starsky and Hutch?), Ron*, and his lovely wife.
3. Our awesomesauce Creative Director, Jamie D* (the D stands for Deelightful or Deelicious, depending on your preference)
*Names may have been changed to protect the identity of our taste testing crew, or not. Probably not.

Jamie D, Rhino & I were super early to the test kitchen (ooh anticipation!) so we decided to stop off for a quick beer (it was lunch time, BTW, and therefore acceptable). My GPS wasn’t working, so the three of us were forced into looking for beer the old fashioned way*.
*By actually looking with our eyes.

Between the solid input of his car companions (KJ: “I think I might see something over there!! JamieD: No, that’s… not a place that sells beer,”) Rhino calmly navigated us to a strip mall where he found us a Chinese Buffet. We proceeded to order some Blue Moons, and I was happily surprised when the beers arrived along with three fortune cookies! I tried to trick my hunger with the beer carbonation, but it backfired, so it only took me about 5 minutes to start hoarding and devouring everyone’s fortune cookies. Sorry guys. Then we headed back to the test kitchen.

After a slightly uncomfortable yet slightly informative meeting with a salesperson, we were ushered into the super slamazing, super huge, and super HOT test kitchen. We got to sit around at a little table and have four people wait on us! And then they started bringing out food. And more food. And then they brought out some more food. By the time they brought the roast beef out, I was so excited I nearly burst into song. I believed for a moment that my life had reached its pinnacle and am about 90% certain that I also heard angels’ voices. I wondered for a moment what it would be like to live in the test kitchen (JamieD: “Awesome! It would be awesome!”). But it was just too hot… and there was no shower, which is a really bad combo. So we did eventually leave.

In any case, despite all the decisions we made on chili and coleslaw and roast beef, we still have over half our menu to go. Most importantly, we need to decide on the bread. I am head over heels for bread as it comprises the majority of my meals so am incredibly excited about this decision. However, the Rhino believes that bread is “just a vessel to get the beef into your face” so a convincing session may be in order. Another test kitchen visit?? Yes please!! Except for one small problem.

KJ and the Clean Program
(For those of you who think detoxing is a scam, feel free skip this part.)
Yes, I have decided to start a program. It is called the Clean Program. During this program, I cannot eat any of the following things: cheese, eggs, French fries, ranch dressing, bacon, bread, beer, tomatoes, pop, ice cream, pizza, Carnation Instant Breakfast, or pretty much any other thing you can think of that’s delicious and fun. I’m approximately 99% sure I’m going to pass away from lack of bacon, seeing as it has only been two days and it’s already all I can think about. Especially while I’m busy burning quinoa and trying to figure out how to cook a chicken breast.

The Rhino is “supporting but not participating,” as he enjoys the aforementioned food and beverage items way too much to give them up (Insert Rhino comment here: “Totally! Why do you think I look so good in a white t-shirt?”). Touché.

I think we are both very nervous at what lack of grease can do to this girl’s mood but hopefully we will both make it to the end of the program. Stay tuned!

So that brings us to two days ago Sunday, during which we began the quest for the city-mandated

Commercial Kitchen
All Minneapolis food trucks are required to partner with a commercial kitchen, which doesn’t sound that difficult until you realize that there are like 20 food trucks and like 2 commercial kitchens. Yikes. We’ve been on the search for awhile before narrowing the pool to two equally magnificent commercial kitchen options:

(1) Kitchen in the Market
On Sunday, the Rhino and I ventured into unknown territory, a.k.a. Midtown Global Market. We were there to meet with the charming Molly who runs Kitchen in the Market, a wicked cool commercial kitchen smack dab in the middle of all the market glory. (If you haven’t been to the Midtown Global Market, I’d suggest going immediately. It’s the bomb. Even despite one particular woman who, every time she saw me, asked me if I was Kimberly. Um, no. But if you keep asking me, I might suddenly decide that I AM Kimberly. Oooh, what now?!)

So we got to tour the kitchen and all its slamazingness. Afterwards, we calculated the distance (7 miles) and time (20-ish minutes but we made all the green lights) between the kitchen and our storage facility. Not bad, not bad!

We were so excited that the Rhino took yours truly to JJ’s Clubhouse for a ”Katie’s last meal before her program” feast of Bloody Mary’s, sandos*, and Cajun fries.
*sando (noun): sandwich

(2) Kindred Kitchen
Last night, we met with the adorable Terese at the Kindred Kitchen. Kindred Kitchen is our second commercial kitchen option in Minneapolis and specifically supports new foodies trying to get their businesses off the ground. The Kitchen also offers a workshop series where you can learn about everything from writing a business plan to marketing strategy to Quickbooks. Dope! It is also conveniently located just 1.9 miles from our new storage facility! And across the street from a cookie shop! Go Team Rhino! We also got to meet other aspiring foodies including a chutney enthusiast, a baker, and a pasta maker. Three cheers for foodies!

It will be very tough to decide which kitchen to go with and we only have until the end of the week… because of some very best news, which I have saved for last!

Some Very Best News
As I was leaving work yesterday and walking through the parking lot to my car, I got a call from the Rhino. Here is a 100% accurate transcript of our conversation:

Phone: “Ring ring!”
Me: “Hello?”
Rhino: “Hi honey.”
Me: “Who dis?”
Rhino: “It’s Ryan.”
Me: “Oh, hi honey!’
Rhino: <Rolls eyes> “Do you want to hear some good news?”
Me: “YES! DESPERATELY!”
Rhino: “Well… I just got off the phone with the bank…”
Me: Heart rate increases from 90bpm to 110bpm
Rhino: <Pause>
Me: “AND?!?!?!”
Rhino: “They said the paperwork was approved!!”
Me: (not exaggerating): Drop everything I am holding into a parking lot snow puddle (this includes: purse, lunch bag, laptop bag, high heels, water bottle) and start screaming as loud as my vocal cords allow. Then I kick up my heels and do a little jig.
Rhino: lol, lol.
Me: “Eeek! Eeek!”

So, for those of you who have been following our story, we were scheduled to close on our loan in December. Well, it is not December anymore and we have yet to close on our loan. Some “at-least-60-days-or-maybe-more” paperwork approval process came into play, and the Rhino and I have been sitting on edge for 6 weeks now, hoping and praying for the approval. Now we have it! Early! You know what that means…. BLOOMY’S IS BACK IN ACTION BABY!!

That’s all I got, for now. I wish I could say that I was off to pop open a celebratory bottle of wine but… water will have to suffice for this roast beef lover. At least for now.

Cheers!

Winter Break & A Homeless Bloomy

As an end-of-year treat and so we wouldn’t lose our “use it or fuhgeddaboudit” PTO days, the Rhino and I decided to take the whole week between Christmas and New Year’s off of work (day job work, that is). This means that we had ten whole days where we really didn’t have to do anything except dream about Bloomy’s and the day when we wouldn’t have to live in cubicles anymore. I was super excited as you can imagine, since this meant a break from the following things:

1. Uncomfortable work clothes
2. Alarm clock
3. Hair dryer/static machine
4. Driving
5. High heels
6. Going outside

It also meant that we could sit on the couch in our pajamas and eat pie and pistachio pudding bars like tomorrow would never come. But, it did, and now we're left wondering how every single pair of pants we own managed to shrink so much in just one week. I blame the dryer.

The day before we were scheduled to return to our exciting* day jobs, we decided to put on some normal clothes, venture outside, and move Bloomy1 from Rhino’s mom’s yard to the parking lot of Chameleon Concessions. As you may remember, Mark Palm from Chameleon is the wonderbrain behind our food truck makeover, and he was just about ready to get started on transforming Bloomy1 from empty boring truck shell to slamazing diner on wheels.
*not exciting at all.

I was looking forward to visiting Bloomy1, seeing as it is the closest thing that the Rhino and I have to a pet and I had started to miss its crappy white paint job. You can imagine my terror and devastation when the Rhino went to turn it on and IT WOULDN’T START!!! I was on the verge of having a whack attack, but the Rhino’s Mom calmed me down by reminding me that it had been sitting in the cold yard for several weeks and just needed some TLC. She was right, as Moms always are, and the hand-off to Mark was a complete success. We are proud to say that our vehicle-pet is now undergoing a deep cleaning and complete transformation that we will document via pictures in this very blog.

Anyway, the next day was the dreaded end to our PTO dream holiday staycation. I had to force myself to act like a grown up instead of pitching my alarm clock through the window and throwing a small* whack attack like I wanted to. I did attempt to wake the Rhino up with my sobs, but he just rolled over and put the pillow over his head. I proceeded to drag myself to cubicle home-away-from-home where it took about two hours for my stress to reach pre-holiday levels. At least my pants fit again.
*large

So now that it’s officially 2012, it’s also officially the YEAR of BLOOMY’S (if the world doesn’t end, which would be really lame). Already during this year, the YEAR of BLOOMY’S, Rhino & I have done the following things:

1. Scheduled the pre-launch sponsor celebration event!!!
2. Started interviewing for our very important Food Truck Manager position
3. Scheduled a visit to the super huge Sysco Test Kitchen a.k.a. heaven on earth
4. Conducted an intense prayer/law of attraction session during which we begged & pleaded that our bank loan would close by February 1. The results of this session are still TBD.
5. Found out that the home we had lined up for Bloomy1 is going out of business, which left us with a great sadness in our heart and a big white homeless truck. Wonderful.
6. Transferred the title from the previous castle-dwelling owner to us regular house folk (see below for the ridiculous “I can’t believe this actually just happened” details)

So here we begin the tale of the:

Ridiculous Title Transferring Debacle
The Rhino and I were looking forward to transferring the title for Blooomy1 so we could become the official owners, and also because it’s the law. I had just gotten a fix-it-or-else-you're-gonna-get-a-ticket for not having my address changed on my license, so I really didn’t want to break the law again so soon. We decided to meet up over lunch to drive to the DMV and conduct the very easy title transfer. Remember that we have allotted one hour for this very simple and not-complex-at-all errand. Here is a synopsis of what ensued:

12:00pm

·  KJ arrives at Excelsior DMV and reads the large and prominent sign that reads “CASH OR CHECK ONLY”

·  Calls the Rhino and politely asks if he happens to have approximately $600 in cash in his wallet. He checks his wallet and says that he has about $4.

·  Rhino picks up KJ and they drive to Wayzata Anchor Bank to get a cashier’s check (government requires paper trails, which we are getting very good at leaving.). On the way, we realize:

·  We don’t know how much to get the cashier’s check for.

12:30pm

· We arrive at the Wayzata DMV and wait in line for approximately three minutes. The nice lady types out a receipt for how much the transfer will cost.

12:40pm

· Rhino & KJ arrive at the bank and get the cashier’s check.

12:50pm

· Back at the DMV, Rhino & KJ successfully complete the transfer and go to Chipotle for some burritos to celebrate.

1:30pm

·  We breathe a collective sigh of relief. That wasn’t too bad!

·  Wait for it…

·  Wait for it…

The next day:

·  Rhino realizes that we transferred the title into our individual names instead of into the business. KJ has whack attack.

·  Bank confirms that title needs to be in Bloomy’s name.

·  KJ calls DMV and learns that she needs to obtain elusive IRC code to avoid paying sales tax twice. She learns that:

· No one seems to know what an IRC code is or how to get it. A mystery solving operation begins and lasts several days.

Several days later:

· KJ goes back to DMV to expedite the original title which otherwise would have taken 3-4 months to get back. Cost: $20

3-5 days later:

· KJ gets title in the mail. She goes back to DMV and realizes Rhino hasn’t signed the title.

That night:

·   KJ watches while Rhino signs the title

The next day:

·  KJ goes back to DMV and successfully transfers the title! Yes! Except…

·   Once I get back to work, I realize that I didn’t put the bank on as a lien holder and have to break speeding laws (sorry) to get back to the DMV before they close.

· KJ doesn’t tell Rhino about this until everything is fixed. He says thank you.

So, a one hour very simple errand has turned into a three-week mega-fiasco. Good job! Apparently, 10 days of couch sitting has not only shrunk all of my pants but has also made my brain a little mushy. No biggie. I’ve started taking Ginko Biloba and am almost back to normal. Let’s hope this is not indicative of how the YEAR of BLOOMY’S will transpire.

However and without further ado, it is now time to spill the beans on our latest and greatest creative project:

The Bloomy’s National Television Project Debut:

I wasn’t going to say anything about our project as I didn’t want to ruin the surprise or jinx the Bloomy’s marketing team, but then I figured a bit of positive energy from peeps wouldn’t hurt. So, here we go.

As you know, the Bloomy’s marketing team is comprised of our awesomesauce Creative Director, Jamie D, and yours truly. As you also may know, Bloomy’s has done a pretty solid job so far of getting some interest from the press. In true ambition, we decided to go for more. More as in national. National as in national network television.

So I started thinking… how does one get the attention of a national network television show such as the Food Network or the Cooking Channel? Phone call? Even I would hang up on myself. E-mail? Easy delete. Carefully handwritten and subtly perfumed letter? Passé. That left just one cool and solidly popular medium: YouTube. Home of Justin Bieber and the Honey Badger. Bring it on.

I was nervous about making another video for a few reasons, such as:

1. The fact that video making does not agree with the Rhino or me and results in several severe dagger eye death stare matches.
3. We can’t ever remember our lines.
2. HD video makes my lips disappear and my hillbilly tooth become more prominent.
3. I had recently self-cut* my bangs slightly too short and the result was similar to what happens when a six year old discovers a pair of safety scissors.  
 *cost control

In any case, we invited Jamie D over to assist with the shoot, and she calmly fixed all of the above using relationship counseling techniques, script highlighter and interesting topic prompting questions, really bright lipstick, and wicked eye makeup (I assume to distract from the bangs). Jamie D then proceeded to whip out some sneaky Steven Spielberg moves and, before we knew it, we had over half our video recorded. We all still liked each other too.

So we’re half done with the video and hopefully will have that uploaded and ready to leave the show-deciders so wowed they will immediately want to give us a few moments of screen time. Ready… go!

That’s all I’ve got so far. I’m off to freak out about the realization I just had that we’re launching in just three short months and our food truck still looks like this:

Well, at least it will be an interesting ride. See ya next time!

Show me the Cash Money

Our story begins last week Saturday. The Rhino and I had to get up super early so we could formally purchase Bloomy1, our very first food truck! Boss! We were so excited about this fact that we went to Rhino’s company holiday party the night before, which was being held at Chino Latino in Uptown, and proceeded to have one* cocktail.
* More than one

We then meandered over to Williams, which apparently has gone from an “early 20s preppie crowd trying hard to impress all the other early 20s preppies” that I loved dearly when I was 22 (somehow, just tossing your peanut shells on the floor without getting yelled at seems both devious and delicious, like you’re breaking the fundamental rule learned when you were three that “YOU DON’T THROW YOUR TRASH ON THE FLOOR!”) to an “early 20s hipster crowd trying hard to impress all the other early 20s hipsters” that, being an almost-30 grown up, now makes me cringe and think, “look at all those deviants just throwing their peanut trash on the floor. Would you do that in your own house? I don’t think so!” In any case, we had one* more cocktail before hailing a cab back home.
* More than one

We finally made it to bed around 3:30am and fell into a blissful sleep. Less than five hours later, my alarm clock started chirping, and we had to pry ourselves out of bed and go to Ham Lake to pick up Bloomy1. We were very, very grumpy. We are not morning people. 

We had procrastinated on picking up the funds for this purchase beforehand so needed to make a bank stop to take out a rather large stack of cash. No worries though, I had it all planned out. We would go to the Eden Prairie bank, take out the large stack of cash, and get to Ham Lake by our mutually agreed-upon time of 10:30. When we got to the bank, however, we discovered that their lobby was closed on Saturdays (despite what was noted on the website). What?! Ever the optimist, I responded by saying in a loud cheerful voice “Okay! We’ll just go to the drive thru!” Once in the drive thru lane, we were made to understand that the cap on cash withdrawals was $3,000. We needed more than two times that much. I started sweating.

At the teller’s advice, we drove to the Wayzata bank location, a mere 25 minutes away. Neither of us knew where in Wayzata this bank was, even though I’d lived in Wayzata (a city of just 3.2 square miles, according to Wikipedia) for two years before I met the Rhino. We fought. However, with the help of our smart phones, we figured out where the bank was (after at least one wrong turn) and I immediately realized that I had driven or walked past this very bank over 1,000 times before. The lobby sign said “closed.”

At this point, I decided not to be optimistic anymore and started having a whack attack. I figured that I would be forced to go to the drive thru and default to my verbal judo tactics in order to negotiate my way into the large stack of cash we needed, despite the $3,000 cap.

Here’s a transcript of what ensued:

KJ: Drives up to the teller window
Teller: “How can I help you today scary lady?”
KJ: <This is the point at which I cast my verbal judo spell using what I learned during Basic Training:* large words, distraction techniques, active listening, and street truths.>
KJ: Pause for response
Teller: “Well, you can’t take out that amount of money using the drive thru window so you’ll have to come into the lobby!”
KJ: “Wait, the lobby is open?!?!”
Teller: “It sure is!”
KJ: “Um…”
*I have never taken Basic Training.

So, needless to say, my verbal judo tactics were successful and we walked into the fake-closed lobby to get our dollars. By the time we were halfway to Ham Lake, we were both staring googly eyed at the stack of cash and saying things like “Do you need some change? Oh, well let me see if I have any!” and “Ok, it’s my turn to hold it now!”.

Rhino enjoyed holding the dollars.

The guy we were buying Bloomy1 from lives in a ginormous castle with a circle driveway and stone lion statues everywhere. I like pretending that I live there. He invited us inside to his office/library/museum and we spent the remainder of the time signing paperwork and trying not to touch any of his fancy museum pieces. We sadly handed over our cash money but drove away with our very own truck!! This moment made me remember the story about letting birds (money) go free and sometimes the birds (money) will come back to you.

Anyway, we are very gratefully storing Bloomy1 at Rhino’s mom’s house until we drop it off at the makeover garage for its transformation from empty truck shell to fully operational Bloomy’s on wheels.

Rhino spent the remainder of last weekend and early week learning neat things about food, as he had to take his official Food Manager exam on Wednesday at 1pm. This exam required all of the following things:

1. $175
2. Extensive preparation and completion of numerous learning modules
3. An easy-to-use flash card system created by yours truly (#goteam or #nerd, your choice)
4.  A one hour drive to the exam station, in Mankato, which necessitated 
5. That Rhino take a PTO day

I am happy to report that the exam went without hitch and the Rhino passed with flying colors! Now he spends his days informing me of proper food storage techniques, and I practice multi-tasking by both listening to him and reading the new (and very funny) Tina Fey book. I’ve had to learn to laugh on the inside.

Last Friday brought our first meeting with Mr. Mark “Awesome” Palm from Chameleon Carts. Mark is the brains and brawn behind the Bloomy1 makeover. We got to see the inside of another food truck makeover he had done as well as a warehouse stocked with equipment as far as my eyes could see. I stared, Rhino drooled, and we both got a little giddy. With Mark’s help, we are about 1,000+ steps closer to finalizing the details of the Bloomy1 makeover. And he gave us some kettle popcorn to boot. We ate all of it. We were happy.

The ensuing week was spent putting the dozens of Kickstarter reward packages together and making the handful of last minute holiday package shippers who were waiting in line at the post office very very very angry. After three Christmas celebrations and lots of laughs and memories with our families, the Rhino and I settled gratefully into our week of vacation time away from our day jobs.

So that brings us up to the present. I am attempting to convince the Rhino to make another video (for a top secret project) but it is a tough sell considering what happened last time. He’s avoiding my sales techniques and celebrating the fact that he won the Fantasy League chalice this year. <Insert Rhino comment here: "Whatever! It's engraved!">> We never put up our Christmas tree. Well, you can’t win them all.

Happy new year from these two food truck fanatics. We’ve had an amazing 2011 and hope you have too. 2012 - bring it on!

Peace, love & roast beef,

Rhino & Katie

Verbal Judo & the Rhino Rap

First off, I have to share that I actually wrote this blog like a week and a half ago and then forgot to post it. So… oops. Anyway. Here it is although updated in the form of small rant and a picture at the end.

The Blog.

Ok, I know that this is supposed to be an educational and informative blog but can I just take a moment to say the following:

HOLY CRAP. THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING!

For those of you who have followed the blog since its inception in May, you can understand how completely crazy this whole adventure has been. I mean, think about it. I remember back to that mind blowing day in May when I realized my lifelong dream of making money (after which I Googled “how to make money” and explored the extensive and very attainable list of options provided (such as “design and execute a complex con situation during which you get ridiculously injured by a rich person. Then sue them for causing you psychological issues”. See first blog for other enlightening ideas.)). Now, 6 months later, the Rhino and I have done exactly all of the following things:

1) Brainstormed a wicked business idea.
2) Wrote a 65 page business plan that took approximately over 100 hours.
3) Bought stylish, 007-like dark sunglasses for our sleuthing operation.  I lost mine immediately and had to get new ones. Then I lost those too.
4) Got almost-approval for an actual bank loan (which is a nearly impossible process right now given our awesomesauce economy. Thanks guys! Good job!).
5) Made a minor motion picture (I’d watch your back M. Night Shyamalan. Just saying.)
6) Ate approximately 17 pounds of roast beef, each.
7) Got engaged. Ahhh! This was my favorite part, obvi.
8) Met a few new foodie friends.
9) Made our HDTV debut before which we deep cleaned the house for two days straight.  
10) Bid our prized nest egg a very (very, very, very) tearful adieu. I still find myself crying for no reason and figure that I am stuck in the fourth stage of mourning. 
11) Perfected our “working relationship” so now we don’t want to strangle one another anymore (this only happened occasionally). This achievement now requires that we fight like grownups, which isn’t nearly as fun as throwing tantrums and saying things like “you’re a dummy head!” 
12) Started planning an event for over 100 people! I have never done this before and am really scared/excited/nervous/anxious/excited. Mostly excited.

Wow! Phew! I feel like I blinked 1.5 times and now we’re here. This reminds me of a special story my dad used to tell me when I was a kid: “life just gets faster as you get older, so enjoy it while you can.” Actually writing it down makes me realize that it is not a story at all and probably one of those things that everyone says (but important to note nonetheless).

In any case, I have a feeling that the next 6 months will be more exciting, more slamazing, and more life changing than the last. Bring. It. On.

Bloomy’s at the bank (again).

The Rhino and I went back to Anchor Bank last week for the “beginning of the end” mega-paperwork signing marathon during which I received a finger callous and a hand cramp and we both discovered extra closing costs that came to no surprise for anyone in the room except for us. This latter discovery prompted the Rhino to share several personal opinions that succeeded in severely pissing off the head bank lady and resulted in me verbally judoing* the Rhino in the parking lot. But, we prevailed and we’re on schedule to close next week.

* verbal judo (n): tactical communications. Involved in this are things like (as quoted from the verbal judo Basic Training description): professional intervention, peace phrases, active listening, and street truths (such as two people equals six people). The Rhino and I can't figure out if they just don't know how to do math properly or if they have some sort of awesome replication/holographic service.

** Update **
We’ve unfortunately run into yet another bank obstacle. You’d think that getting a bank loan so you could start a business to provide yummy sandwiches and economic support would be slightly less difficult than achieving the gold medal for the 400 meter hurdle event in the Olympics. But, alas, it is not and the Rhino and I are now navigating more paperwork that the bank says will take (but we hope it won’t take) another 60 days to process. You can imagine my demonic reaction to this news, but we’re brushing the dust off of our butts once again and trying not to ask them, “um, why did we not learn about this until the week before we’re supposed to close? Could we not have learned about this 3 months ago when we first started this thing?” Anyway. <Heavy sigh.> I’m going to go listen to some Boyz II Men and cry a bit. BRB. 

Bloomy’s in the news (again).
A few Thursdays ago, the Rhino and I met up with a lovely freelance writer who is doing a foodie story with the City Pages. We rolled out of bed long before the sun came out, bared the chilly 14 degree weather, and headed to a nearby coffee shop to meet with the charming Tricia Cornell.

We proceeded to chat Tricia’s ears off about Kickstarter, Bloomy’s, adventures, life in general, and deer hunting season (during which the Rhino didn’t get anything but after which he saw two trophy bucks taunting him in various ways. I saw the second one and said “look, there’s a moose!” <Insert Rhino eye roll here>).

The story – hopefully minus the moose sighting - should be out in the next few weeks.
 
**Update ** It’s out now, just yesterday! Here you go! City Pages Article

Thanks to Tricia for braving Bloomyland! We’re glad we met you before we learned about our new bank obstacle cuz we both have fury flying out of our eyeballs right now, and I’m thinking it’s a bit scary.

Social Media Update
For those of you who rely on Facebook to get Bloomy’s business and blog updates, you will now need to become an official fan of Bloomy's on Facebook as the Rhino and I are reclaiming our personal profile pages. So, if you haven’t already, “like” Bloomy's on Facebook otherwise you will lose out on all future Bloomy’s Facebook updates. And we all know how awful life would become if that happens.

Backer Reward Update
We’ve officially received all responses from our wonderful backers and have the rewards ordered and on their way! You should be receiving them just in time for the wintery holiday coming up. I know everyone will want to wear their comfy Bloomy’s apparel around the yuletide log while drinking egg nog and singing carols. I know I do.  
 
Misc. Updates
So we’ve been toiling away on our various to do lists but have also been fortunate enough to take some much needed R&R and spend time with our wonderful families. I also got to see the Rhino in full-on kiddo mode over Thanksgiving. A mode that included piggy back rides, a game of Hungry Hippos, and a spontaneous + spectacular performance of the “Holiday Conga Line Featuring Rhino and the Fantastic Five Nieces & Nephews.”  The Conga Line quickly became a source of endless, low-cost holiday entertainment for everyone involved (and fulfilled my physical exercise quota for the day, even though I only participated by sitting on the couch and clapping my hands. It’s the thought that counts, as they say.). In any case, the Rhino and I truly enjoyed our much needed time away from Bloomyland reality but are excited about the…

Next Order of Business

THE PURCHASING OF THE FOOD TRUCK!!!!

The Rhino and I MAY have some very exciting news about the food truck. We MAY have found said truck and MAY have decided to purchase it. I MAY have posted a picture below for your viewing pleasure (if you’re wondering what’s up with the weird crappy paint job that does absolutely nothing to cover up the Doritos logo, pay no mind. We’re on it.). 

The Rhino was so excited that he immediately broke into song (rap song, that is). It went a little something like this:

The Rhino Food Truck Rap

“I hope I don’t have to look no more
Cuz I been lookin’ at trucks till I hit the floor!”

That’s all he has so far. I think it’s coming along great though.

Anyway, stay tuned for some exciting news about the where, when, and how behind one of the most important pieces of this roast beef endeavor. Until next time!