The Countdown Begins

After a small bout of writer’s block (my first since beginning the blog, oh no!), I’ve nearly recovered and am ready to share all of the new and wonderful things that have happened since I last left you.

First of all though, I have to say that I’m pretty sure my writer’s block was caused by one event in particular. I will call this event The Attack of the Seven Point Five Pound Bacon. This attack happened on day 8 of my 21 day Clean Program (NOT including the four day prep thing I had to go through beforehand, also during which I could not eat any good foods). Anyway, I was sitting on the couch watching the telly when, all of the sudden, I was struck by a bacon craving. A bad one. Like the kind you get after not eating any bacon for over 12 days.

Then the Rhino walked in with (I AM NOT KIDDING) a 7.5 pound CRATE of bacon!



There are seven layers to this crate!

 Between apologies and dodging my scary growls, Rhino managed to tell me that Sysco had dropped off some bacon for taste testing purposes. Apparently, some equals 7.5 pounds worth! So now I have all this bacon in my home and it’s all I can think about. Enter the writer’s block. Anyway, sweet Rhino made individual sized packs to hide in the freezer so I can focus on way more important things, like telling this story. Did I want to lick his fingers afterwards? Maybe. I mean definitely.

Moving on.

We’ve officially started the T MINUS COUNTDOWN TO THE BLOOMY’S LAUNCH! I don’t really enjoy the countdown, usually because it gives me heart palps*, but I figured it was about time we started one. Mainly due to the fact that I really wanted to install a countdown gadget on my iGoogle page. This is also where I track my two stocks (I made almost $11 today!) and whether new movies got a tomato or a splat.  

*Palpitations of the heart. This may or may not be a genetic abnormality; also commonly experienced as a precursor to a very large whack attack.

Anyway, we’re less than 10 weeks from our big sponsor celebration event and the Bloomy’s event planning team (comprised of Creative Director JamieDelish, Event Manager Chickie*, and yours truly) is ready to start super-planning what will soon be remembered as “The Greatest 2012 Twin Cities Food Truck Sponsor Celebration Event/Launch Party. Ever.” We have some exciting plans in the works and can’t wait to see all of our Kickstarter backers there to help us kick off Bloomy1! Bring your appetites people!

*Our newest Bloomy’s (unpaid) team member. Her name is not Chickie, but her real name is too hard to remember.

The Rhino and I are also very excited to share two major pieces of information with ya’ll. One is business related and one is a big announcement about our relationship. Oooh, what could that be? Hold your horses because we’re starting with the business one.

Number One

Our prized possession, Bloomy1, has officially gone from looking like this:

TO LOOKING LIKE THIS!

 

Wait… You might be thinking: “Dude, it looks exactly the same. You just changed the background and the way it was facing.” First off, don’t call me Dude. Second, take a closer look at this:

That’s right. That my friends is our very own super bomb serving window through which we can serve all of our delicious roast beef sandos and greet our fellow beef lovers with a welcoming Bloomy’s smile! Yessss!

Mark Awesome Palm at Chameleon Concessions has been doing loads of work on the inside of Bloomy1, getting her ready for her big debut. Mark has already achieved numerous feats including this:

And this!

And this!

In fact, Bloomy1 is officially nearly ready for her paint job which will be completed by our very own Rhino and his dad, Papa Bloomy. I will miss you Doritos logo!

Number Two
Now, on to the second announcement.

After five months of being engaged, the Rhino and I have finally decided on an official day of matrimony! Go team! That didn’t take long at all! We had originally decided on October 13 of next year since this year we’re way too busy making Bloomy1 the food truck rockstar of the Midwest. But then we realized that pretty much no one would want to party down with us on a Sunday. So now we’ve decided that on September 27, 2013 we will have a few family and friends over to Rhino’s Mom’s house, eat some food, dance a few jigs, change my last name to Bloomstrom, take some pictures, and go to Hawaii to celebrate my name change. No big deal. I also may or may not have* started a matrimony day countdown on my iGoogle page. 589 days? Done.
*This means absolutely.

Why September 27? Because according to our numerology charts,* this is the most auspicious day for the Rhino and me to enter into a lifelong union. It’s also the Rhino’s nephew’s birthday, and something tells me he’ll enjoy a night of cake, dancing and complete awesomeness. Bring it on. I will start planning this event in approximately 500 days.
*This blog is a judgment free area. And numerology is sometimes over 60% accurate.

In Other Exciting Future News
Tomorrow afternoon, the Rhino and I will be making a very important trip to our local bank so we can officially close on our bank loan! After 8 months of work and hundreds of hours of lost sleep, the fact that this day has finally arrived just doesn’t seem real to either of us (and probably won’t until it’s over). But we are both very much looking forward to actually having some dollars so we can buy important business items such as dishes and food. And this! Cool Software Found Here

Saturday brings the Big Day of Food Truck Manager Interviews. This is the time during which the Rhino and I will meet our Food Truck Manager (FTM) finalists face to face and decide which FTM is awesomesauce enough to manage Bloomy1! This is one of the most important tasks on my Bloomy to-do list, as our first FTM will not only manage Bloomy1 but may very well end up managing the whole kit and caboodle* in the very near future. What a sweet job! If the Rhino would let me, I would totally apply. Except that I don’t meet the qualifications. Whatever.
*I don’t actually know what this phrase means, but I heard my grandma say it once and it made my grandpa lol.

We’re also excited to share that our website (which was built by me, so only I can be offended when I say that I think it has no game) is currently undergoing a mega face lift! Our developer dude seems to have disappeared underground for the winter so I don't have an ETA, but hopefully he will resurface shortly. Then we can unveil the new and improved website that has lots of game and also houses this very blog! Dope!

Ok, I’m off to watch a John Cusack film (enter Rhino comment here: “I don’t know why you love him so much.” Me: “YOU CAN’T HELP WHO YOU LOVE!”) while trying not to think about bacon.

In the words of our friend and loyal blog follower, Eric: "May the beef be with you."

Winter Break & A Homeless Bloomy

As an end-of-year treat and so we wouldn’t lose our “use it or fuhgeddaboudit” PTO days, the Rhino and I decided to take the whole week between Christmas and New Year’s off of work (day job work, that is). This means that we had ten whole days where we really didn’t have to do anything except dream about Bloomy’s and the day when we wouldn’t have to live in cubicles anymore. I was super excited as you can imagine, since this meant a break from the following things:

1. Uncomfortable work clothes
2. Alarm clock
3. Hair dryer/static machine
4. Driving
5. High heels
6. Going outside

It also meant that we could sit on the couch in our pajamas and eat pie and pistachio pudding bars like tomorrow would never come. But, it did, and now we're left wondering how every single pair of pants we own managed to shrink so much in just one week. I blame the dryer.

The day before we were scheduled to return to our exciting* day jobs, we decided to put on some normal clothes, venture outside, and move Bloomy1 from Rhino’s mom’s yard to the parking lot of Chameleon Concessions. As you may remember, Mark Palm from Chameleon is the wonderbrain behind our food truck makeover, and he was just about ready to get started on transforming Bloomy1 from empty boring truck shell to slamazing diner on wheels.
*not exciting at all.

I was looking forward to visiting Bloomy1, seeing as it is the closest thing that the Rhino and I have to a pet and I had started to miss its crappy white paint job. You can imagine my terror and devastation when the Rhino went to turn it on and IT WOULDN’T START!!! I was on the verge of having a whack attack, but the Rhino’s Mom calmed me down by reminding me that it had been sitting in the cold yard for several weeks and just needed some TLC. She was right, as Moms always are, and the hand-off to Mark was a complete success. We are proud to say that our vehicle-pet is now undergoing a deep cleaning and complete transformation that we will document via pictures in this very blog.

Anyway, the next day was the dreaded end to our PTO dream holiday staycation. I had to force myself to act like a grown up instead of pitching my alarm clock through the window and throwing a small* whack attack like I wanted to. I did attempt to wake the Rhino up with my sobs, but he just rolled over and put the pillow over his head. I proceeded to drag myself to cubicle home-away-from-home where it took about two hours for my stress to reach pre-holiday levels. At least my pants fit again.
*large

So now that it’s officially 2012, it’s also officially the YEAR of BLOOMY’S (if the world doesn’t end, which would be really lame). Already during this year, the YEAR of BLOOMY’S, Rhino & I have done the following things:

1. Scheduled the pre-launch sponsor celebration event!!!
2. Started interviewing for our very important Food Truck Manager position
3. Scheduled a visit to the super huge Sysco Test Kitchen a.k.a. heaven on earth
4. Conducted an intense prayer/law of attraction session during which we begged & pleaded that our bank loan would close by February 1. The results of this session are still TBD.
5. Found out that the home we had lined up for Bloomy1 is going out of business, which left us with a great sadness in our heart and a big white homeless truck. Wonderful.
6. Transferred the title from the previous castle-dwelling owner to us regular house folk (see below for the ridiculous “I can’t believe this actually just happened” details)

So here we begin the tale of the:

Ridiculous Title Transferring Debacle
The Rhino and I were looking forward to transferring the title for Blooomy1 so we could become the official owners, and also because it’s the law. I had just gotten a fix-it-or-else-you're-gonna-get-a-ticket for not having my address changed on my license, so I really didn’t want to break the law again so soon. We decided to meet up over lunch to drive to the DMV and conduct the very easy title transfer. Remember that we have allotted one hour for this very simple and not-complex-at-all errand. Here is a synopsis of what ensued:

12:00pm

·  KJ arrives at Excelsior DMV and reads the large and prominent sign that reads “CASH OR CHECK ONLY”

·  Calls the Rhino and politely asks if he happens to have approximately $600 in cash in his wallet. He checks his wallet and says that he has about $4.

·  Rhino picks up KJ and they drive to Wayzata Anchor Bank to get a cashier’s check (government requires paper trails, which we are getting very good at leaving.). On the way, we realize:

·  We don’t know how much to get the cashier’s check for.

12:30pm

· We arrive at the Wayzata DMV and wait in line for approximately three minutes. The nice lady types out a receipt for how much the transfer will cost.

12:40pm

· Rhino & KJ arrive at the bank and get the cashier’s check.

12:50pm

· Back at the DMV, Rhino & KJ successfully complete the transfer and go to Chipotle for some burritos to celebrate.

1:30pm

·  We breathe a collective sigh of relief. That wasn’t too bad!

·  Wait for it…

·  Wait for it…

The next day:

·  Rhino realizes that we transferred the title into our individual names instead of into the business. KJ has whack attack.

·  Bank confirms that title needs to be in Bloomy’s name.

·  KJ calls DMV and learns that she needs to obtain elusive IRC code to avoid paying sales tax twice. She learns that:

· No one seems to know what an IRC code is or how to get it. A mystery solving operation begins and lasts several days.

Several days later:

· KJ goes back to DMV to expedite the original title which otherwise would have taken 3-4 months to get back. Cost: $20

3-5 days later:

· KJ gets title in the mail. She goes back to DMV and realizes Rhino hasn’t signed the title.

That night:

·   KJ watches while Rhino signs the title

The next day:

·  KJ goes back to DMV and successfully transfers the title! Yes! Except…

·   Once I get back to work, I realize that I didn’t put the bank on as a lien holder and have to break speeding laws (sorry) to get back to the DMV before they close.

· KJ doesn’t tell Rhino about this until everything is fixed. He says thank you.

So, a one hour very simple errand has turned into a three-week mega-fiasco. Good job! Apparently, 10 days of couch sitting has not only shrunk all of my pants but has also made my brain a little mushy. No biggie. I’ve started taking Ginko Biloba and am almost back to normal. Let’s hope this is not indicative of how the YEAR of BLOOMY’S will transpire.

However and without further ado, it is now time to spill the beans on our latest and greatest creative project:

The Bloomy’s National Television Project Debut:

I wasn’t going to say anything about our project as I didn’t want to ruin the surprise or jinx the Bloomy’s marketing team, but then I figured a bit of positive energy from peeps wouldn’t hurt. So, here we go.

As you know, the Bloomy’s marketing team is comprised of our awesomesauce Creative Director, Jamie D, and yours truly. As you also may know, Bloomy’s has done a pretty solid job so far of getting some interest from the press. In true ambition, we decided to go for more. More as in national. National as in national network television.

So I started thinking… how does one get the attention of a national network television show such as the Food Network or the Cooking Channel? Phone call? Even I would hang up on myself. E-mail? Easy delete. Carefully handwritten and subtly perfumed letter? Passé. That left just one cool and solidly popular medium: YouTube. Home of Justin Bieber and the Honey Badger. Bring it on.

I was nervous about making another video for a few reasons, such as:

1. The fact that video making does not agree with the Rhino or me and results in several severe dagger eye death stare matches.
3. We can’t ever remember our lines.
2. HD video makes my lips disappear and my hillbilly tooth become more prominent.
3. I had recently self-cut* my bangs slightly too short and the result was similar to what happens when a six year old discovers a pair of safety scissors.  
 *cost control

In any case, we invited Jamie D over to assist with the shoot, and she calmly fixed all of the above using relationship counseling techniques, script highlighter and interesting topic prompting questions, really bright lipstick, and wicked eye makeup (I assume to distract from the bangs). Jamie D then proceeded to whip out some sneaky Steven Spielberg moves and, before we knew it, we had over half our video recorded. We all still liked each other too.

So we’re half done with the video and hopefully will have that uploaded and ready to leave the show-deciders so wowed they will immediately want to give us a few moments of screen time. Ready… go!

That’s all I’ve got so far. I’m off to freak out about the realization I just had that we’re launching in just three short months and our food truck still looks like this:

Well, at least it will be an interesting ride. See ya next time!

Show me the Cash Money

Our story begins last week Saturday. The Rhino and I had to get up super early so we could formally purchase Bloomy1, our very first food truck! Boss! We were so excited about this fact that we went to Rhino’s company holiday party the night before, which was being held at Chino Latino in Uptown, and proceeded to have one* cocktail.
* More than one

We then meandered over to Williams, which apparently has gone from an “early 20s preppie crowd trying hard to impress all the other early 20s preppies” that I loved dearly when I was 22 (somehow, just tossing your peanut shells on the floor without getting yelled at seems both devious and delicious, like you’re breaking the fundamental rule learned when you were three that “YOU DON’T THROW YOUR TRASH ON THE FLOOR!”) to an “early 20s hipster crowd trying hard to impress all the other early 20s hipsters” that, being an almost-30 grown up, now makes me cringe and think, “look at all those deviants just throwing their peanut trash on the floor. Would you do that in your own house? I don’t think so!” In any case, we had one* more cocktail before hailing a cab back home.
* More than one

We finally made it to bed around 3:30am and fell into a blissful sleep. Less than five hours later, my alarm clock started chirping, and we had to pry ourselves out of bed and go to Ham Lake to pick up Bloomy1. We were very, very grumpy. We are not morning people. 

We had procrastinated on picking up the funds for this purchase beforehand so needed to make a bank stop to take out a rather large stack of cash. No worries though, I had it all planned out. We would go to the Eden Prairie bank, take out the large stack of cash, and get to Ham Lake by our mutually agreed-upon time of 10:30. When we got to the bank, however, we discovered that their lobby was closed on Saturdays (despite what was noted on the website). What?! Ever the optimist, I responded by saying in a loud cheerful voice “Okay! We’ll just go to the drive thru!” Once in the drive thru lane, we were made to understand that the cap on cash withdrawals was $3,000. We needed more than two times that much. I started sweating.

At the teller’s advice, we drove to the Wayzata bank location, a mere 25 minutes away. Neither of us knew where in Wayzata this bank was, even though I’d lived in Wayzata (a city of just 3.2 square miles, according to Wikipedia) for two years before I met the Rhino. We fought. However, with the help of our smart phones, we figured out where the bank was (after at least one wrong turn) and I immediately realized that I had driven or walked past this very bank over 1,000 times before. The lobby sign said “closed.”

At this point, I decided not to be optimistic anymore and started having a whack attack. I figured that I would be forced to go to the drive thru and default to my verbal judo tactics in order to negotiate my way into the large stack of cash we needed, despite the $3,000 cap.

Here’s a transcript of what ensued:

KJ: Drives up to the teller window
Teller: “How can I help you today scary lady?”
KJ: <This is the point at which I cast my verbal judo spell using what I learned during Basic Training:* large words, distraction techniques, active listening, and street truths.>
KJ: Pause for response
Teller: “Well, you can’t take out that amount of money using the drive thru window so you’ll have to come into the lobby!”
KJ: “Wait, the lobby is open?!?!”
Teller: “It sure is!”
KJ: “Um…”
*I have never taken Basic Training.

So, needless to say, my verbal judo tactics were successful and we walked into the fake-closed lobby to get our dollars. By the time we were halfway to Ham Lake, we were both staring googly eyed at the stack of cash and saying things like “Do you need some change? Oh, well let me see if I have any!” and “Ok, it’s my turn to hold it now!”.

Rhino enjoyed holding the dollars.

The guy we were buying Bloomy1 from lives in a ginormous castle with a circle driveway and stone lion statues everywhere. I like pretending that I live there. He invited us inside to his office/library/museum and we spent the remainder of the time signing paperwork and trying not to touch any of his fancy museum pieces. We sadly handed over our cash money but drove away with our very own truck!! This moment made me remember the story about letting birds (money) go free and sometimes the birds (money) will come back to you.

Anyway, we are very gratefully storing Bloomy1 at Rhino’s mom’s house until we drop it off at the makeover garage for its transformation from empty truck shell to fully operational Bloomy’s on wheels.

Rhino spent the remainder of last weekend and early week learning neat things about food, as he had to take his official Food Manager exam on Wednesday at 1pm. This exam required all of the following things:

1. $175
2. Extensive preparation and completion of numerous learning modules
3. An easy-to-use flash card system created by yours truly (#goteam or #nerd, your choice)
4.  A one hour drive to the exam station, in Mankato, which necessitated 
5. That Rhino take a PTO day

I am happy to report that the exam went without hitch and the Rhino passed with flying colors! Now he spends his days informing me of proper food storage techniques, and I practice multi-tasking by both listening to him and reading the new (and very funny) Tina Fey book. I’ve had to learn to laugh on the inside.

Last Friday brought our first meeting with Mr. Mark “Awesome” Palm from Chameleon Carts. Mark is the brains and brawn behind the Bloomy1 makeover. We got to see the inside of another food truck makeover he had done as well as a warehouse stocked with equipment as far as my eyes could see. I stared, Rhino drooled, and we both got a little giddy. With Mark’s help, we are about 1,000+ steps closer to finalizing the details of the Bloomy1 makeover. And he gave us some kettle popcorn to boot. We ate all of it. We were happy.

The ensuing week was spent putting the dozens of Kickstarter reward packages together and making the handful of last minute holiday package shippers who were waiting in line at the post office very very very angry. After three Christmas celebrations and lots of laughs and memories with our families, the Rhino and I settled gratefully into our week of vacation time away from our day jobs.

So that brings us up to the present. I am attempting to convince the Rhino to make another video (for a top secret project) but it is a tough sell considering what happened last time. He’s avoiding my sales techniques and celebrating the fact that he won the Fantasy League chalice this year. <Insert Rhino comment here: "Whatever! It's engraved!">> We never put up our Christmas tree. Well, you can’t win them all.

Happy new year from these two food truck fanatics. We’ve had an amazing 2011 and hope you have too. 2012 - bring it on!

Peace, love & roast beef,

Rhino & Katie