Thursday, December 8, 2011

Verbal Judo & the Rhino Rap

First off, I have to share that I actually wrote this blog like a week and a half ago and then forgot to post it. So… oops. Anyway. Here it is although updated in the form of small rant and a picture at the end.

The Blog.

Ok, I know that this is supposed to be an educational and informative blog but can I just take a moment to say the following:


For those of you who have followed the blog since its inception in May, you can understand how completely crazy this whole adventure has been. I mean, think about it. I remember back to that mind blowing day in May when I realized my lifelong dream of making money (after which I Googled “how to make money” and explored the extensive and very attainable list of options provided (such as “design and execute a complex con situation during which you get ridiculously injured by a rich person. Then sue them for causing you psychological issues”. See first blog for other enlightening ideas.)). Now, 6 months later, the Rhino and I have done exactly all of the following things:

1) Brainstormed a wicked business idea.
2) Wrote a 65 page business plan that took approximately over 100 hours.
3) Bought stylish, 007-like dark sunglasses for our sleuthing operation.  I lost mine immediately and had to get new ones. Then I lost those too.
4) Got almost-approval for an actual bank loan (which is a nearly impossible process right now given our awesomesauce economy. Thanks guys! Good job!).
5) Made a minor motion picture (I’d watch your back M. Night Shyamalan. Just saying.)
6) Ate approximately 17 pounds of roast beef, each.
7) Got engaged. Ahhh! This was my favorite part, obvi.
8) Met a few new foodie friends.
9) Made our HDTV debut before which we deep cleaned the house for two days straight.  
10) Bid our prized nest egg a very (very, very, very) tearful adieu. I still find myself crying for no reason and figure that I am stuck in the fourth stage of mourning. 
11) Perfected our “working relationship” so now we don’t want to strangle one another anymore (this only happened occasionally). This achievement now requires that we fight like grownups, which isn’t nearly as fun as throwing tantrums and saying things like “you’re a dummy head!” 
12) Started planning an event for over 100 people! I have never done this before and am really scared/excited/nervous/anxious/excited. Mostly excited.

Wow! Phew! I feel like I blinked 1.5 times and now we’re here. This reminds me of a special story my dad used to tell me when I was a kid: “life just gets faster as you get older, so enjoy it while you can.” Actually writing it down makes me realize that it is not a story at all and probably one of those things that everyone says (but important to note nonetheless).

In any case, I have a feeling that the next 6 months will be more exciting, more slamazing, and more life changing than the last. Bring. It. On.

Bloomy’s at the bank (again).

The Rhino and I went back to Anchor Bank last week for the “beginning of the end” mega-paperwork signing marathon during which I received a finger callous and a hand cramp and we both discovered extra closing costs that came to no surprise for anyone in the room except for us. This latter discovery prompted the Rhino to share several personal opinions that succeeded in severely pissing off the head bank lady and resulted in me verbally judoing* the Rhino in the parking lot. But, we prevailed and we’re on schedule to close next week.

* verbal judo (n): tactical communications. Involved in this are things like (as quoted from the verbal judo Basic Training description): professional intervention, peace phrases, active listening, and street truths (such as two people equals six people). The Rhino and I can't figure out if they just don't know how to do math properly or if they have some sort of awesome replication/holographic service.

** Update **
We’ve unfortunately run into yet another bank obstacle. You’d think that getting a bank loan so you could start a business to provide yummy sandwiches and economic support would be slightly less difficult than achieving the gold medal for the 400 meter hurdle event in the Olympics. But, alas, it is not and the Rhino and I are now navigating more paperwork that the bank says will take (but we hope it won’t take) another 60 days to process. You can imagine my demonic reaction to this news, but we’re brushing the dust off of our butts once again and trying not to ask them, “um, why did we not learn about this until the week before we’re supposed to close? Could we not have learned about this 3 months ago when we first started this thing?” Anyway. <Heavy sigh.> I’m going to go listen to some Boyz II Men and cry a bit. BRB. 

Bloomy’s in the news (again).
A few Thursdays ago, the Rhino and I met up with a lovely freelance writer who is doing a foodie story with the City Pages. We rolled out of bed long before the sun came out, bared the chilly 14 degree weather, and headed to a nearby coffee shop to meet with the charming Tricia Cornell.

We proceeded to chat Tricia’s ears off about Kickstarter, Bloomy’s, adventures, life in general, and deer hunting season (during which the Rhino didn’t get anything but after which he saw two trophy bucks taunting him in various ways. I saw the second one and said “look, there’s a moose!” <Insert Rhino eye roll here>).

The story – hopefully minus the moose sighting - should be out in the next few weeks.
**Update ** It’s out now, just yesterday! Here you go! City Pages Article

Thanks to Tricia for braving Bloomyland! We’re glad we met you before we learned about our new bank obstacle cuz we both have fury flying out of our eyeballs right now, and I’m thinking it’s a bit scary.

Social Media Update

For those of you who rely on Facebook to get Bloomy’s business and blog updates, you will now need to become an official fan of Bloomy's on Facebook as the Rhino and I are reclaiming our personal profile pages. So, if you haven’t already, “like” Bloomy's on Facebook otherwise you will lose out on all future Bloomy’s Facebook updates. And we all know how awful life would become if that happens.

Backer Reward Update
We’ve officially received all responses from our wonderful backers and have the rewards ordered and on their way! You should be receiving them just in time for the wintery holiday coming up. I know everyone will want to wear their comfy Bloomy’s apparel around the yuletide log while drinking egg nog and singing carols. I know I do.  
Misc. Updates
So we’ve been toiling away on our various to do lists but have also been fortunate enough to take some much needed R&R and spend time with our wonderful families. I also got to see the Rhino in full-on kiddo mode over Thanksgiving. A mode that included piggy back rides, a game of Hungry Hippos, and a spontaneous + spectacular performance of the “Holiday Conga Line Featuring Rhino and the Fantastic Five Nieces & Nephews.”  The Conga Line quickly became a source of endless, low-cost holiday entertainment for everyone involved (and fulfilled my physical exercise quota for the day, even though I only participated by sitting on the couch and clapping my hands. It’s the thought that counts, as they say.). In any case, the Rhino and I truly enjoyed our much needed time away from Bloomyland reality but are excited about the…

Next Order of Business


The Rhino and I MAY have some very exciting news about the food truck. We MAY have found said truck and MAY have decided to purchase it. I MAY have posted a picture below for your viewing pleasure (if you’re wondering what’s up with the weird crappy paint job that does absolutely nothing to cover up the Doritos logo, pay no mind. We’re on it.). 

The Rhino was so excited that he immediately broke into song (rap song, that is). It went a little something like this:

The Rhino Food Truck Rap

“I hope I don’t have to look no more
Cuz I been lookin’ at trucks till I hit the floor!”

That’s all he has so far. I think it’s coming along great though.

Anyway, stay tuned for some exciting news about the where, when, and how behind one of the most important pieces of this roast beef endeavor. Until next time!

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