Monday, October 3, 2011

Post VBQ Scene - Some Stuff Goes Down

After watching the Vikings lose their 4th straight game yesterday, I could hardly muster the proper attitude to sit down and write this week’s blog. But, alas, I got over it as do the rest of us Minnesotans, and inspiration has officially struck smack dab in the middle of eating my $5 footlong from Subway. In case you haven’t seen the commercials, it is “Anytober” at Subway which means you can get ANY footlong for just $5! No, they didn’t pay me to say this (although I did have the idea to advertise in the blog in exchange for sponsorship dollars but then I decided that would be annoying on numerous fronts). I was just excited to share the cost savings implications. I get excited these days by such things as cost savings, and I said to the Rhino – look, I can get that $5 footlong and eat half for lunch and half for dinner! Seeing as we didn’t have our Sunday cookathon yesterday due to the fact that I failed on going to the grocery, I needed a cheap Monday lunch and look what happened! A $2.50 solution c/o Subway sandwiches. Another colorful example of our cost-savings capabilities is highlighted with the fact that I came home from the grocery last time with a family size jumbo value package of… wait for it…. wait for it…… wait… for… it….. Chicken Flavored Ramen Noodles. Agh! The shame is so great my cheeks are pink just from writing it. And worse – Rhino ate these very ramen noodles for dinner last night. Aghhhh! We’ve gone too far!

Anyway. Moving on. So last week, after the VBQ episode went down and had some days to sink in, I woke up on Thursday with a freaking massive head cold. And by freaking massive, I mean extremely incredibly insanely ginormous freaking massive head cold. It was so bad I actually called in sick to work on Thursday AND Friday, which is something that has only happened once before in 29 year Katie J history. Then I promptly built a little house on the couch - complete with blankets, pillows, large quantities of tissues, remotes, and smart phone (for adding Netflix movies to the instant queue, obvi) as well as a constant flow of hot tea, orange juice and cold meds. Then I crawled in, hunkered down, and didn’t move out until Sunday night. So I was full-time busy fighting off death, blowing my nose and making little mewing sounds so everyone in range of the couch knew how awful I felt, and the Rhino was spending his time providing me with warm, yummy cold-curing rations (like his made-from-scratch chicken noodle soup complete with homemade melt-in-your-mouth dumpling style noodles and fresh garden veggies and mmm hmm, just writing this is making my mouth water like mad and my footlong doesn’t seem so great now), battling that evil cabin fever that tends to arise when one goes too many hours without fresh air or natural light and trying not to barf from my constant nose blowing. PS - this story is also a.k.a. the reason why we didn’t make any cole slaw like I promised we would and under delivered, seeing as we didn’t.

On Sunday, I finally felt well enough to remove myself from the couch, venture outside and take a walk from the house to the end of the garage. Then I got really tired and just sat there gulping in natural light and non-tainted-by-sickness air flow as the sunshine burned my retinas. After that, I was pretty much on the mend.

The Commencement of the Nasty Terror Dreams
After I started feeling better, I was looking forward to some nice, non-interrupted-by-sickness sleep. I’m fairly sure that the Rhino was also looking forward to not waking up from getting coughed or nose-dripped on. So we went to bed on Sunday and both the Rhino and I began what ended up being a multi-night marathon of nasty terror dreams.

The Rhino’s terror dreams included the following:
- demonic cats, claws (including claws embedded in skin), sharp teeth, fish, hooks, and scary black figure spirits that needed chasing

My terror dreams included:
- super-cute and fluffy evil birds, claws that sliced my skin apart, razor sharp bird beaks that could only be removed from my body if I yanked the bird off and my flesh in the process, and weird empty houses with scary too-low lighting.

By Thursday, we were both incredibly beat-down and fed up with this plague that had obviously drifted its way into our house and dreams, and we convened in the Bloomy’s test kitchen to decide what to do. After much deliberation and intelligent discussions, we decided the best course of action was to conduct a very serious smudging ceremony.

The Bloomy’s Household Very Serious Smudging Ceremony
For those who don’t know, smudging ceremonies are used to clear out negative vibes and other weird things like monsters and dream demons that can apparently find their way into people’s homes. It appears that we have watched a very scary movie called Insidious and have opened our home to ugly dream spirits as a result (if you haven’t seen this movie, it is by far the scariest movie in the world. The Rhino, who is a bigger-than-normal fan of scary movies, got so scared he had goose bumps. I, who am a not-at-all fan of scary movies, got so scared that I nearly barfed into the Rhino’s lap, twice).

In any case, we decided to do a serious smudging ceremony to clear out the negative vibes from watching Insidious and restore our home to its usual positive self. This ceremony basically included us walking around the house and saying such powerful statements as: “ONLY GOOD THINGS ARE WELCOME HERE!” and other things as suggested on the Internet while waving around sticks of burning sage from our back yard sage bush. The weirdest part about it is that both of us were very serious about this and didn’t laugh or smile one time. Also, placebo effect or no, the Rhino & I have been blissfully terror-dream free since the ceremony took place. I did, however, mistake the downstairs steam machine for an evil spirit figure last night as I was preparing to steam my Monday workday dress. But it ended up just being the steam machine, obvi.

Bloomy’s Regular Update
Now on to the real purpose for the blog. The Bloomy’s update!
Our friends over at Anchor Bank are working diligently on putting the final touches on our business loan application, and the Rhino and I are also working diligently on putting every penny into our penny jar so we can fulfill our end of the financial bargaining. We’re about T-60 days from getting the loan, after which we will be moments away from purchasing the food truck and starting the really fun process of installing equipment (including the dream machine double decker ultra-dope Bloomy’s super slow roasting oven) and getting all of our permits. Yay in advance. Not. We are also <this close> to uploading pictures of the stylish apparel that our sponsors will soon be wearing and that we hope will soon be profiled in the 2012 fall fashion lineup and will also appear in Glamour or some such magazine.

Bloomy’s Sponsorship Update
We’re excited to share that we’ve had 14 wonderful backers pledge $2,115 toward the launch! This means we’ve successfully reached 21% of our sponsorship goal and have just $7,885 left to go! However, we have just 41 days left to raise the remaining funds. If we are successful, we’re having an exclusive sponsor-only pre-launch tasting event in March to celebrate our sponsors and all the support you’ve provided. If we’re not successful, well … let’s not think about that quite yet as it will mean several horrible things including another whack attack from yours truly. For those readers-non-sponsors, we continue to ask for your sponsorship support. We are so close to making Bloomy’s a true Twin Cities staple and are excited to build a community of supporters without whom this beefy dream would not be possible.

Go Vikes! - er... um... <cough> I mean MN Lynx?


Katie J

PS - to anyone who received an odd scandalous link from my hotmail account, that wasn't me - it was a hacker. Sorry about that. Thankfully no one was in my contact list except everyone I know and ex boyfriends.

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